The Secret Traveller
Shocking Tour Stories
By The Secret Traveller
It doesn’t have to be the young people. When you picture shocking things happening on tours, the first thing that comes to mind is probably the budget backpacker trips around Europe – but that’s not where the crazy stuff begins and ends.
On any tour you do around the world, no matter what the age of the passengers or the place it’s set, you’ll find some shocking things going on. Trust me, I’ve done these tours as a passenger, and I’ve run these tours as a guide. This is what goes on…
Exactly What You’re Picturing
That’s it in a nutshell, really. All of those crazy things you imagine, the drunkenness, the silliness, the hook-ups, the fights, and the occasional bouts of sightseeing – they all happen on tours. They don’t happen on every tour, but they certainly happen.
Drinking Games
This one is a given. Put 40 young people together in an enclosed space for five or six hours and they’re going to be itching to get their booze on by the time they’re allowed out. And nothing helps you pass the time like a drinking game. One of the best I’ve seen is “Irish Poker”, taught to me by an American college student. If you play this game, expect to wind up extremely drunk.
Whining
It’s incredible how much people – young and old – whine on tours. The stops are too short, or they’re too long. The hotels aren’t up to standard. The campsites are
Sleeping
This doesn’t happen much during the night, but it does happen a lot during the day. I was with a tour group once, driving through the Swiss Alps, probably the most naturally stunning place in the entire world, and they all pulled the window shades down and went to sleep.
Sex. Quite a Lot of Sex.
Some of the backpacker tours of Europe I worked on
High School Stuff
You see some ridiculous, petty things happen over the course of a few weeks with a whole group of people in a confined space. Little arguments. Rumours being spread. People who stop talking to people. People who refuse to sit near each other. It’s like being back in high school.
Tantrums
There are little moments when you get upset – and then there are full-on temper tantrums that no one on the tour will readily forget. I’ve seen people seriously throw their toys out of the cot, whether they’re fighting with friends or they’re just sick of tour life and want to get off. It’s not a good look.
Group-Think
Here’s the deal: I’ve found that all it takes is two, maybe three people who are vocal whiners to bring down an entire tour group. That sort of energy gets picked up by others, and all of a sudden they start to complain as well. It’s a nightmare. Conversely, if you have two or three extremely positive, happy people on board, everyone else will go along with them and a great time will be had.
Getting Lost
This isn’t just passengers – it’s also the crew. I’ve worked on tours where we’ve gone round and round in circles for hours looking for the campsite or the attraction or even just a place to park. Don’t assume your bus driver knows what he’s doing. If it feels like you’re lost, you probably are.
Desperate times…
…call for desperate measures. And I’ve seen some hilariously desperate things take place. On one tour we’d allowed people to bring beer onto the bus, which meant everyone was using the onboard toilet, which meant that pretty soon it was full to the brim. The solution? Open the taps and dump the tank. On the highway. At 110km/h.
Accidents
There are always mishaps. One passenger fell off a table (where she’d been drunkenly dancing) and broke her arm. A crew member I knew stepped out of the bus,
Long-Term Relationships
It sounds crazy, but some of the random
Cultural Enlightenment
Seriously, this actually happens. In amongst all of the drinking and sleeping and arguing and
Huge Amounts of Fun
Some of the stuff above might make you shudder and think twice about booking a tour, but trust me – these are the extremes. And even when they do happen, the dirty secret about tours is that most people onboard them have a hell of a lot of fun. You make friends, you see sights, and you have a
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